Posted by: heartsleeve | November 1, 2007

Another old post re-posted…

I woke up this morning feeling really, really stupidly happy. I think I dreamed about something good last night. I honestly don’t remember, but I’m guessing I had to if I woke up with this big stupid grin on my face. Or maybe I’m just becoming a happier person in general. I don’t know.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t worry. A lot. Experience tells me that this isn’t going to work. A lot of things aren’t in my favor in this situation. I’m hoping maybe because I understand exactly how much is working against me that if it does all fall apart, I don’t get as heartbroken over it as I have before. But at the same time…this feels different than before. Before, I always felt really alone and like everything was sort of one-sided. This time, though, I feel like…I feel like if I reached out to something, it would reach back. It is reaching back. That makes me hopeful, even if I probably shouldn’t be.

Everything in life right now is so full of potential, I don’t really know what to do with all of it. I spent the last year not having anything to look forward to, and now I’ve got everything right in front of me. I’ve just got to figure out how to hold onto all of it, and not let go of the weird happiness that’s got me smiling in my sleep.


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